The Official Chris Duncan Web Site

With Playboy Spring Break 2008 less than two weeks away, it is now crunch time. I’ve been working overtime to get all of the final details squared away. I have some important items on my to-do list such as acquiring a super soaker and fake tanning my pale body. But there really is a lot of planning and execution involved with our Playboy Spring Break events. Each week, we have a total of 4 evening events and 3 day events. You need an all-star crew to ensure success, so let me introduce you to the cast of characters:

Playboy Spring Break Staff from L to R: Chris Duncan, Lisa Kolodny, Charlie Romano, Chip Ross
Lisa “K-os” Kolodny: By our powers combined, we are COLLEGE MARKETING! To put it in laymen’s terms, we do a shitload of work for Playboy. Pretty much anything that relates to a person that is old enough to look at Playboy but not actually old is our responsibility. We destroyed at CollegeFest and I suspect Spring Break will be more of the same. Lisa is pretty talented, but I think her disadvantage of having significantly less body weight will hurt her in the tequila drinking department. Plus, I’ve been training. You should check out Lisa’s blog The Dirtay Thirtay.

Mr. Charlie Romano: Charlie is like the 6-inches-taller, skinnier, friendlier, and more patient version of me. He’s more than the college marketing intern, he’s the Official Chris Duncan apprentice. Soon, I will pass on the lessons of being a cranky, impatient fuck to him. For now, he is assigned all of the work that I don’t want to do. Kidding. Charlie handles much of the nitty gritty that goes into our main events like CollegeFest, Super Saturday Night, and Spring Break. His idea for the proposal to Fox was good enough to get us a sponsor (Hitman DVD). He also blogs about The Rise of Charlie.

Chip Ross: I first met Chip at CollegeFest 2006. He also came to Cabo last year for Playboy Spring Break as well. Chip is in charge of a little site called Playboy U. He’ll be handling the video content that will go up on Playboy U and also making sure that the bands are sufficiently drunk. That’s a joke… they won’t need our help getting drunk.

Rocky “Rawdog” Rakovic: Rocky is the artsy, effeminate version of me. Not really. He’s the badass editorial staffer that actually at least pretends to like marketing (thanks for putting my Mark Frazier interview on the Playboy Blog, buddy). We appreciate that. The Rawdog has had numerous pieces published in Playboy Magazine. My personal favorite is the write-up of his Brazilian wax experience in the August 2006 issue (Monica Leigh cover). At least he won’t have a problem getting that done for Cabo. He’ll be blogging the madness from our events.

Official Chris Duncan and Rocky Rakovic… that’s my drunk snarl caught at an awkward moment

Jimmy “The Muscle” Cambria: Jimmy is in charge of security at the New York office. He’s worked pretty much every major Playboy event for the past few years. He’s a former New York police office. I’m hoping that I’ll get to hear more crazy cop stories this year. Jimmy will also be the person that gets me out of Mexican jail.

The Playboy Models: Oh yeah, we’re bringing some girls with us too. The first week (March 8-11) we’ll have Playmate Shannon James and Cyber Girls Jennifer Hurt, Amanda Hanshaw, and Megan Hauserman. Shannon is great — she has dealt with C-Drunk/Piss Drunken and she still pretends to like me. Jennifer and Megan both have huge crushes on me (sarcasm), so we’ll see how that plays out. I’ve never met Amanda before, but I’m pretty sure she’ll fit in well. She can talk to Megan about being on Beauty and the Geek… so that works out. Week two (March 22-25) Playmate Lindsay Wagner and Cyber Girls Jillian Beyor, Aubrie Lemon, and Jessica Danielle will be making appearances. Lindsay is new to me, so I look forward to meeting her. Jillian was in Cabo last year and rebuffed my advances, so that’s a lost cause. She was at CollegeFest with us last September and kicked ass. Jennifer and Aubrie also both came with us to Spring Break last year. They’re also both Deal or No Deal models. I approve.

Some of my favorite people will be joining me in Can San Lucas this year. But I’m sure I’ll be making a lot more friends when I’m down there… lady friends. If you’re making the trip to Cabo either week, leave a comment and let us know!

Rock of Love has to be one of the best shows going right now. I like to say that my range of interests runs the gamut when it comes to television. But that’s just another way of justifying the fact that I like garbage. I can call a spade a spade. Rock of Love fanatics, please place your vote for the girl that you think will win in the poll below. My pick is Ambre (explained below).

If you want to disagree with me about Rock of Love, let me try to sway you with my reasoning. The show has the right “mix” with a solid main character, scantily clad women, easy-to-follow while ridiculous storyline, and a healthy dose of intoxication. Let me break it down:

Bret Michaels is awesome
As he appears on the show, Bret Michaels is like any guy who had a ridiculous amount of coming at him. He rolls with it, but he’s even surprised with some of the affection that the women show him — or he’s an excellent actor. His gratuitous use of “hey-yo!” is also comical. I just enjoy the fact the Bret Michaels acts the same as any normal guy would if he were in the same situation. Like any other reasonable person, I assumed Bret Michaels was a douchebag based purely on appearance. But when I read the Bret Michaels Playboy.com Dirty Dozen Interview (this was before Rock of Love), I couldn’t help but like the guy. The best quote is about the most orgasms he’s had in one day: “It was eight, with my current girlfriend. It would be nine because I also masturbated once in there as well.”

Megan Hauserman is my friend
Yeah, that’s not true. We have worked together for two different events though. I think she’s actually really funny on the show. She flashed some of the same smart-assed nature at CollegeFest last September. I was sitting next to her and we were bullshitting with each other. I can’t even remember what I was saying to her at the time, but she interrupted me, looked me straight in the eyes, and said, “Are you hitting on me?” I’m pretty sure I wasn’t — at least not overtly. I was so shocked, I think I just walked away. I can’t even remember at this point. If only I had known that wearing eye makeup, a bandanna, and a cowboy hat was the key to her heart.

Girl drama to the max
The most memorable moment so far was Aubry’s hilarious exit from the show. For those of you who didn’t catch that (video below), here’s the rundown. She figured it would be her or Kristy Joe eliminated, decided Kristy Joe deserved it more, and then “sacrificed herself” by leaving the show. Shortly after her speech about giving the “greatest gift” to Kristy Joe, Bret revealed that she was going to be eliminated anyway.

I think Ambre will win because she’s the all-around best. She’s attractive, reasonably intelligent, and athletic. I think she has enough juice to win. Unfortunately, Bret cut the two oldest women — leaving Ambre as the oldest (I think). I thought he might keep one of them around until the end for age-related drama, but decided to cut the cord. How the hell is Inna still around? Also, I think Daisy is going to be built up again (a-la her date with Bret a while back) and then eliminated. Yes, I think about Rock of Love this much. I am a truly pathetic individual.

Nothing is more fun than a game of Twister. That’s a lie. I can’t think of a time I’ve even played Twister. But I think it could be reasonably fun. That was my thought process when deciding to bring Playboy Twister to Cabo.

We found the spinner and shipped it last month. I scoured the closet and couldn’t find the mat that goes with it. The point of the story isn’t that I found the mat though. We just decided to print a new one. The final will look slightly different from the first mock-up below.

The NEW PlayboyU Twister mat… minus naked women.

However, I did find the original Playboy Twister mat online while checking out the search results for “Playboy Spring Break”. I really enjoyed this picture, so I felt the need to share. It is quite apparent that the old twister mat got some good mileage. Nice VHS camcorder that the guy on the left has… top of the line. Any guesses for what year this was taken? 1997?

An “adventurous” young woman gets down on the Playboy Twister mat. Yeah, I blurred her nipples. Sorry.

Playboy Spring Break 2008 won’t be nearly as “hardcore”. We won’t have wet t-shirt contests or anything like that. It’s Cabo San Lucas, you have to keep it classy. Girls won’t be taking their tops off at our events, but I’ll try to arrange that for other times during the week.

Just in case you were holding your breath waiting for closure, here are some updates on previous items. If none of the below is confusing, then you read my blog way too fucking much.

OCD INTERVIEW: MARK FRAZIER & BLAIR O’NEAL
I’ve been in some recent correspondence with Blair, who was one of my bodypainted models. Looks like she’ll probably work at the Playboy Golf Scramble in Phoenix. Recently, I’ve had a Playmate, the Playmate “mother”, and the guy who runs Playboy Golf tell me to come out to LA for the Scramble Finals. I’ve never been to the Playboy Mansion, so this would be a great time to do that. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. I’m going to be in Cabo until the day I’d need to be in LA. So that’s either really good or really bad. Now, I have to convince them to fly me there…

AMERICAN GLADIATORS SUCKS
I don’t really think I need to go over this again.

FIRE ISIAH @ MSG
I made the signs and the Knicks lost… so that part went as planned. I couldn’t get everybody into it though. Maybe that’s a good thing. Since we could’ve been kicked out for having a FIRE ISIAH sign.

BECOMING LESS FAT
Recap coming later.

TRASHING THE BUCKET LIST
I’ll never see this movie and I’m nearly positive that it’s a piece of shit. It did much better than the horrible failure that I predicted. I said 45 with a max of 60 mill at the domestic box office. That was obviously insane. I had originally typed 60 with a 75 million domestic box office as a ceiling. It’ll probably peter out before it even sniffs $100 million which should be within the next few weeks.

Well, this makes me feel like an ass. This is the best Texas Basketball recruit of all-time doing something a toddler shouldn’t do. At least you don’t see VY eating boogers. Thanks to DChu, probably the biggest Texas-hater that I know, for this link. Check out the video below for the greatest ass slap of all time.

Damion James doesn’t fuck around when it comes to attaboys on the backside. Here’s the proof. AJ Abrams probably had a mark on his cheeks after that forceful show of affection.

Official Chris Duncan is an official dumbass. I locked my rental car keys
in the car. Now Im waiting for a locksmith to reactivate the Ford
Fusion. My flight is at 1:20 and its just about noon. Its going to
take about 30 minutesto get to the airport and another 30 to return
the car, take the shuttle, and check in. I'm possibly fucked. Wish me
luck.

I'm at a BU college apt. Nothing posses me off more than people not
having fun. Fuck Maxim. Fuck Heidi. Fuck any jackass that uses 10 oz of
gel every day.

I'm at Logan Airport waiting for the Budget Car Rental bus. Its pretty
approriately named since I have been standing here for 15 minutes.
I've seen two Thrifty buses and possibly three from Alamo.

At least it gives me time to admire the above poster of The Golden
Boy. Last time I was in Boston, the closest thing to something like
this was a regional Vitamin Water ad with Big Papi. The Patriots may
not have gone 19-0, but T Brady's handsome is undefeated all-time.

When is Tom Brady ever getting off of helicopters? Even if it did
actually happen, why is he wearing a trench coat? It would probably
be more effective if it said "one drop of Tom Brady ball-sweat in each
bottle". Those are championship balls.