I love this commercial. Drew Rosenhaus is an awesome agent… getting his former “The U” players gigs in Hungry Man commercials. The basic premise: these NFL players go to the grocery store and buy a SHITLOAD of Hungry Man. And that’s probably not a good idea if you take a look at the nutrition facts below from a Hungry Man “Classic Fried Chicken” Dinner.
We're at Suzie Wong for our Sauza party. Tonight we have a Hornitos
event with an open bar from 8-11 pm. Sorry, the list is closed.
Below is a log of an actual online conversation that I had with a friend. This paints a better picture of the douchebags that I associate with. Some details have been removed/changed — I wouldn’t want to out him for being the piece of shit that he truly is.
Anonymous Asshole Friend
haha, i havent had that yet, but i had a pretty comical experience over the past couple weeks
i was trying to mack it to this girl who i met at the st patricks day parade, a friend of (name removed) basically
she was around last week
OfficialChrisDuncan
haha, NICE
those are the kind of girls that I like… ones that are around, baby
haha
Anonymous Asshole Friend
and she was like, i dont want to say all over me
OfficialChrisDuncan
you can, go ahead
Anonymous Asshole Friend
but touching, and like, seeking out my conversation the whole night
and i talked to her the whole time
and we both got hammered
OfficialChrisDuncan
oh yeah
Anonymous Asshole Friend
and i honestly dont really remember a thing i talked about with her
OfficialChrisDuncan
hahahaha
that’s FUCKING awesome
Anonymous Asshole Friend
i ended up walking home i assume
never said goodbye
or maybe i did, but i doubt it
OfficialChrisDuncan
the old drunken bolt
Anonymous Asshole Friend
so shes coming to the game last sat
and she like, gave me a good hello and whatnot
and anyway, after the whole day, i didnt really talk to her
btu i talked to her at the bar afterwards
and like, 2 different times i was striking up conversation, and she would answer me
and be like, yeah i actually told you this
OfficialChrisDuncan
haha, and you’re like “oh yeahhhhH!”
Anonymous Asshole Friend
i also was hitting on a different girl the whole time at the game
OfficialChrisDuncan
hahahah
Anonymous Asshole Friend
who was at the game, didnt really knw her … but she recognized … me from riding the subway
so i was like, a commuting celebrity to her
OfficialChrisDuncan
hahaha… that’s a good in
Anonymous Asshole Friend
i figured i had it in the bag
OfficialChrisDuncan
yeah, the “you know who I am” routine
“and you happen to care”
Anonymous Asshole Friend
and shes super hot, so i talked to her the whole time
“so…what stop to do youget off”
OfficialChrisDuncan
haha, good work…
I was on facebook today and saw a pretty ridiculous ad:
NYC Asian Eyelid Surgery
Edward S. Kwak MD, is one the nations top plastic surgeons specializing in Asian facial cosmetic surgery.
So there’s a doctor whose last name is essentially “quack” who wants to (I assume) make your eyes look “less Asian”. TELL ME MORE!
The ad reminds me of my favorite scene from The Wire. You should go to about 3:00 of the YouTube video below. Basically, some local hoods are taken to the station to help create a composite sketch of a suspect. They fuck around trying to make a picture of the guy with little success and decide to create their ideal woman using the same software. Then there’s my absolute favorite part where the ringleader says “Chinese up dem eyes… like Beyonce” and his crony says “Yeah. Das Wassup.” at the very end. So I will now liberally use the phrase “Chinese up dem eyes” to mean improving something and adding the “Yeah. Das Wassup” indicates that it is an extreme improvement. The “… like Beyonce” is only necessary in formal situations.
Update: The kid that says “Chinese up dem eyes” is named Anthony Fedd. You can check out his MySpace here… potential OCD Interview material?
My good friend George Rodman tends to blow up my GChat from time to time. I’ve been hounding all of my friends to send me good blog material and good ol’ GRod finally came through. He sent me this wonderful link to an old (or fake) article about women in the workplace. If you’re not familiar with the role of women in the workplace, this article makes it easy to understand why it’s best to avoid cantankerous women and the “husky” type are both even-tempered and efficient. If you think this is bad, keep in mind our country was down with racism for about 20 years after this.
You can see the 1943 Guide to Hiring Women here.
For fun, let’s see if we can come up with our own outdated and ignorant tips for working with women. Here’s my #12:
12. In general, women have trouble keeping their emotions in check. For this reason, it is especially important to keep your female co-workers in a positive mood by making them feel appreciated. It only takes a small amount of effort — a firm pat on the backside or a well-timed compliment about her figure (whether its toned or not) can do wonders.
I was reading an article about a Danish retirement home where a staff member had been propositioned by a resident. The solve the problem, the staff called a prostitute for the man. The article got a comment on the situation from somebody at the Danish Sex Worker’s organization. Before that point, I had never even realized that there could be a sex worker organization. So I decided to do a little more research. I found two of these foundations in Australia and The Netherlands that are quite real.
Sex work - what is it?
Sex work is the exchange of sexual services for money or goods.
Sexual Services - what are they?
The definition of sexual services adopted in Victoria has three main activities under it. They are:
If you get money or goods for doing any of these things, you are doing sex work.
Has anybody realized that they’re doing sex work yet? Apparently, Australia has a very proud tradition of sex work. According to the Scarlet Alliance:
Prostitutes, or ‘doxies’ or ‘blowens’ or ‘biters’ or ‘strumpets’ as they might have been called by the marines and convicts of the 18th century, were among the very first white women ever to step onto the continent of Australia when they arrived at Sydney Cove with the First Fleet in 1788.
And let’s not forget about The Netherlands. The Red Thread has started a Pimp Free Zone campaign.
Rode Draad and Vakwerk started a sticker and poster campaign against pimps. They are putting up stickers and posters on windows with the phrases “Pimpfree Zone” and “Pimping is forbidden in The Netherlands”.
Despite our Puritanical roots, there is a similar organization in the US called Sex Workers Outreach Project. They define themselves as a “Sex Workers Outreach Project-USA is a national social justice network dedicated to the fundamental human rights of sex workers and their communities, focusing on ending violence and stigma through education and advocacy.” I think I’m going to start calling OfficialChrisDuncan.com a social justice network. SWOP is in San Francisco… and you know New York doesn’t enjoy being left out. So that’s where SWANK comes in. SWANK is a group of former and current sex workers based out of New York City. The SWANK MySpace profile shows that they have an event in New York on May 8th. Looks like the OfficialChrisDuncan has a party to cover…
I haven’t made an entry into the bat-shit-crazy category for a while. But when I walked into the Rite Aid before work earlier this week, I encountered something out of the ordinary. I wanted to grab a meal-in-a-bar product and passed a guy sitting in a folding chair. I quickly realized that he wasn’t interested in purchasing said chair — he was drawing. Rite Aid is a drug store … and he certainly wasn’t drawing the beef jerky and Gatorade that were right in front of him. So now you can understand why I was pretty shocked that a creepy looking guy had posted up in the middle of a store at 9AM.
Luckily, I was able to snap a I’m-just-casually-looking-at-my-phone picture of him on my way back towards the front of the store. I was a little bit afraid that he might notice me taking the picture and try to kill me… but I knew that it would make for great blog filler. While cropping/tagging the picture, I decided it would be interesting to try and see what he was drawing. There’s a 300% zoomed and rotated copy of his notepad in the lower left. No, that is not a person drawing the same thing that he is while standing behind him. I’m pretty positive it’s a city over some body of water … so half of it is a reflection. I went into Rite Aid this morning and did not see the scribbling genius at work. I did see the chair though…
A source close to the actor said: “Jesse loves women with big breasts. He thought Colleen was the perfect woman, but was lacking in one department, so he decided to make her the ultimate woman.”
This gem comes from a quote about Jesse Metcalfe. The article explains that he paid for the breast augmentation of ex-girlfriend Colleen Shannon. I checked out his Wikipedia and decided that his character name is Passions, Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald, is hilarious. It also says “Was recently involved in an altercation with a rapper named Mams.”. What? The picture on the left is some guy bitching him around outside of an LA club.
OCD was launched in early 2008 by the Official Chris Duncan. He writes about pop culture and current events including entertainment news, trashy reality TV, sports, politics, and celebrity culture.
D.A.S. Wassup Forum