May 30th, 2008
“As an American I am ashamed and embarrassed that this film was made. I pray that it’s a huge failure.”
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: movies, sex and the city, summer blockbusters, television | No Comments
May 29th, 2008
“I lost my head. I even had money with me. I don’t know why I took the stuff.”
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: chocolate penis, quote of the day | No Comments
May 28th, 2008
Relationships are a mystery for most of the people in my generation. “Hooking up” can mean anything from a warm caress to a Cleveland Steamer. My buddy GRod sent me this link and it was hilarious and frighteningly real at the same time. I think the main problem is this guy’s approach to SMS-courtship. I have a suggestion and it’s two words: dick pics. I won’t get into that now, but it might be a good idea to mentally prepare yourself for that post.
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: entertainment, ocd classic, videos | No Comments
May 27th, 2008
In baseball, “PopoZão” is a slang term used by Philadelphia Phillies fans for a home run hit by Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard.[citation needed]
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: kevin federline, phillies, popo zao, PopoZão, quote of the day, ryan howard | No Comments
May 23rd, 2008
Apparently one of my friends has decided that Bruce Bowen is gay. It’s actually pretty funny for me to imagine him with a hoop earring and some flamboyant clothing. The “bonghitters” mention is a reference to us getting smoked (pun somewhat intended) by the High Times softball team.
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: nba, ocd actual conversation, television | No Comments
May 20th, 2008
The good places in New York always have people waiting outside. This place is so exclusive that the line starts forming at noon. It’s the chop’t in midtown. It’s not a club. chop’t is a place to get lunch. I know the line may move quickly… but this is insane. I guess lots of people like salad.
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: bat-shit-crazy, chopt, work | No Comments
May 19th, 2008
A challenge was issued and accepted. On Wednesday, the Playboy office is facing High Times in softball. It’s kind of a tradition, but this is the first time the game is being played in about 3 years. Apparently, facebook and College Humor were set to face off in beer pong… but then it got canceled. Softball is so much classier.
Our squad is made up of 16 people from marketing, editorial, security, and licensing. I think our security crew of Jimmy and Bobby will provide a lot of power — they play in the Staten Island softball league. We’re borrowing my good friend Danny from MTV and expect big things. I’ve been roiding for the past 4 weeks in preparation for the big day.
Currently, our sponsors are up in the air. We’re thinking box wine but might end up with liquor in the clubhouse. In any case, I’m positive that we’ll have lost track of the game by the end. We made some sweet uniforms for the game… BONERS 2008! The game is Wednesday in Central Park. Merciless stoner bashing is scheduled for a 6:30 PM start.
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: high times, performance enhancing drugs, Playboy, softball, stoners vs. boners, work | 1 Comment
May 16th, 2008
The new, Joey-less Real World was sad but still entertaining. While this is certainly not my favorite Real World, this cast does seem to have some potential. Below are five points that are highlighted in the latest episode.
Sarah realizes how judgmental she is I love the way they talk about how skanky Brianna is… yet she isn’t even the one getting plowed by a roommate. Bri didn’t even get a chance to open her legs before Kimberly. Also, what is your mom or boyfriend going to do about your bitching? Just please shut the fuck up and cheat on your boyfriend for real. Otherwise, you are worthless.
Whitebread sandwich as per usual OMG can you believe Dave and Kim are hooking up? It’s just like every Real World where the two most whitebread people in the house are teetering on the edge of a relationship. It happened recently in Sydney (Cohutta/Kelly Anne), Denver (Alex/Colie), Austin (Danny/Melinda), Las Vegas (Steven/Trishelle), etc.
Greg sucks This kid is a bitch. He acts hard because he’s a loner. It’s the whole “I don’t need anybody else” routine… but you know he just has low self-esteem. The fashion show makes this pretty obvious. He walks the catwalk like an idiot — twirling his jacket and pirouetting. Can somebody please knock this douchebag down off of his high horse?
Das Not Wassup Alex and I had Will’s “Das Wassup” count at 3 after the first episode. Since then, he has not uttered the phrase once. I’m going to assume that he still says it but that the production team has edited it out of some scenes. I am very, very disappointed.
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brianna, mtv, ocd breakdown, real world hollywood, reality tv, television | 1 Comment
May 15th, 2008
I think if I had come down, things might have worked out a little bit differently. I find I have a calming influence on people I’m around.
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: cedric benson, quote of the day, ricky williams, sticky icky | No Comments
May 14th, 2008
The new Cosmo has a story about “5 Signs a Guy is Capable of Rape”. While sexual assault is nothing to joke about, Cosmo itself IS a joke. There’s no way that this article is actually going to teach a woman anything useful. If anything, it will just make them more paranoid. Yesterday, I hit up the drug store to buy some crack — I mean sugar-free Red Bull and saw this magazine at the counter. Today, I broke down and bought it. I’m yet to read the article, but I will try to predict the “5 Signs”:
I will report back after I read the article to see if I was right. In the mean time, here’s the cover:
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: 5 signs a guy is capable of rape, cosmo, cosmopolitan | 1 Comment
May 13th, 2008
You can tell that my friends are quality individuals. I had to change one detail slightly so it’s not completely obvious who this is. In any case, this is one of the best stories of all time.
Anonymous Asshole Friend: ya know, i dont think i ever told you the funniest thing that happened to me while i was down south
Official Chris Duncan: haha
Anonymous Asshole Friend: so good … the last night i was there, when i went to the strip club and got 20 mins worth of lap dances
Anonymous Asshole Friend: i get a text from my sister that just says “mom is asleep”
Anonymous Asshole Friend: because apparently, the stripper, while performing said lap dance
Official Chris Duncan: haha
Anonymous Asshole Friend: grinded on my phone, and called my mom
Official Chris Duncan: amazing
Anonymous Asshole Friend: yeah, i mean, you cant even make taht shit up haha
Speaking of moms and floozies, check out the Supersquan blog about the previous weekend. Nothing can be more embarrassing than having to bring a girl home to your parents house and then having mama take care of the ride-of-shame. Having it happen on Mother’s Day just makes it more shameful.
I’m also waiting for a recount of the Vegas stripper story I heard last night. My roommate Brad was in Vegas rolling deep — and they had to leave a man behind.
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: mothers day, ocd actual conversation, strippers | No Comments
May 12th, 2008
I figured this was enough to constitute a blog post. Megan Fox was nice enough to take her top off and show her absolutely perfect body. Thanks to Mangan for sending this link and making my day/week/year/life. Mangan will be blogging all summer from the Dirty Jersey shore, so check it out.
Too bad Megan Fox is engaged to Brian Austin Green. You know, the guy from fucking 90210. Who wants to rent a U-Haul, buy a weapon, and find his house with me? I had to categorize this as bat-shit-crazy because it still baffles me that BAG scored Megan Fox. Extreme bitterness.
Check it out here… before the server crashes.
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: bat-shit-crazy, brian austin green, megan fox, megan fox naked, megan fox topless | 1 Comment
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