Yesterday, I encountered a incredibly accurate instance of symbolism. I ride the subway to work and am typically half-asleep on my voyage to midtown. Today, the door opened and I took a half-step out… and then nearly fell on my ass trying to avoid disaster. I immediately noticed some of the nastiest vomit of all-time splattered in my path and, luckily, avoided it. It reminded me of the situation I was about to walk into at the office. Having recently been notified that the Playboy New York office was closing, it also meant I was out of a job at the end of April. This was quite similar to the puke I was about to step in. Also, there was a mouse eating the puke. I wonder what that symbolizes. Somebody smarter than me must have a theory on that. And now, two random rants:
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Daddy’s Girls “make the right decision”
Does anybody watch this show? You shouldn’t. I’ve given it a few tries. It’s about Rev Run’s two daughters that move to LA to start a shoe company. On the last episode, the girls were approached by a huge douchebag promoter to host a party. You may say, “But Chris, not all club promoters are douchebags. You need to be more accepting.” But that would be wrong… this guy was roided out, fake-tanned, and wore one of those “L.A. club guy” shirts that have stitching on the shoulder or chest of something bad ass like a dragon.
If you buy this shirt, I automatically hate you.
The episode was based on their struggle with morality as they weighed raking in some cash with the club gig and keeping their squeaky clean image as spokeswomen for the Girl Scouts. Obviously, they chose the high road and opted for the Girl Scouts. I’m guessing they were offered like $10-20K. They didn’t end up hosting a club appearance… but let’s recap what actually happened. They MET this promoter at his club Vice. It wasn’t blurred out… that’s weird! Then, he later pitched them on the club appearance and talked up some of their previous hosts ranging from Jenna Jameson to I don’t remember. The point? The club gave them money anyway. They were featured on a fucking cable television show for an extended period of time as a main part of the storyline. I refuse to believe that it was coincidence and that they just FORGOT to blur the club name. Ridiculous. That show sucks — don’t watch it.
` T.O. vs. Keyshawn: Round 2
Terrell Owens does not like Keyshawn Johnson. He’s already talked trash about Key. So I guess TO felt a little bit jealous when Keyshawn got his own interior design show on A&E. Fast forward 4 months later… and now 81 is signed up to do a reality show on VH1 produced by Rock of Love/Flavor of Love/I Love Money veterans Cris Abrego and Mark Cronin. Let’s hope for a train wreck, baby.
I don’t claim to be cool… but I do have incredible taste. I don’t really read music blogs or anything like that. I really just download music randomly or based on suggestions. I think I’m pretty much a cross-section of American music consumption with an affinity for sappy or serious sounding music. Much to my surprise, I got into electronic music in 2008. After seeing Justice at SXSW, I got Cross which brought me to Hot Chip and Cut Copy. So there’s definitely a heavy electronic influence on this list. However, I still like rock and rap… I just haven’t found as much diverse music in those genres lately.
I'm going to start smoking cigarettes and wearing fitted leather jackets.
In terms of albums, there are obvious ones like Lil Wayne - Tha Carter III, Hot Chip - Made In The Dark, Cut Copy - In Ghost Colours, MGMT - Oracular Spectacular, etc. Looking at this list, you also can tell how much I love The Black Ghosts. They are fucking awesome. In addition to their eponymous album (that means it’s ALSO called The Black Ghosts), they also released an amazing mix tape (aptly named The Black Ghosts - Mixtape). The Black Ghosts are two guys: Simon Lord and Theo Keating. Simon Lord also released an album as Lord Skywave (two songs on my list). Theo Keating, on the other hand, has been extremely busy. In 2008, he started anonymously remixing tracks under the pseudonym Fake Blood. Speculation was that it was a super producer such as Norman Cook (Fatboy Slim), Daft Punk, Dave 8-Bit, or even a group of guys. In fact, it was Theo Keating. Mr. Keating ended up releasing two of the better tracks of 2008 in Little Boots - Stuck On Repeat (Fake Blood Remix) and Fake Blood - Mars. He also released Vampire EP as DJ Touche toward the end of the year. The song “Vampires” from that EP is quite sweet.
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If you’re interested in reading much more reasonable and informed “Best of 2008″ lists, check out Not Many Experts or Hate Something Beautiful. Here’s are my lists:
THE BEST
Bon Iver - Skinny Love The video from Letterman is pretty amazing.
Cut Copy - Out There On The Ice I probably listened to this song multiple times per day for 2-3 weeks.
Does It Offend You Yeah - Being Bad Feels Really Good I know, they all sound the same. But I like this album (You Have No Idea What You’re Getting Yourself Into) a lot.
FrankMusik - 3 Little Words (The Black Ghosts Remix) I like FrankMusik and I love The Black Ghosts. Shocking, isn’t it?
Hot Chip - We’re Looking For A Lot Of Love This is the song that got me hooked on “Made in the Dark”. I have Wrestlers below… but there are a handful of songs I wanted to include on this list.
Little Boots - Stuck On Repeat (Fake Blood Remix) I can’t stop listening to this song. Probably my favorite song of right now.
MGMT - Kids I went to Chicago in May and I pretty much listened to this song on repeat for two days.
T.I. - Dead and Gone ft. Justin Timberlake People hate on JT… but they shouldn’t.
The Black Ghosts - Some Way Through This Have you ever been really pissed off at your girlfriend? Simon Lord has.
Young Jeezy - Hustlaz Ambition This track is produced by Drumma Boy who also takes credit for Ready for Whatever, What Up, What’s Happenin’, and Put On.
THE REST
Albert Hammond Jr. - GfC
Albert Hammond Jr. - You Won’t Be Fooled By This
Beasts of Eden - Skin
Black Kids - I’m Making Eyes At You
Cut Copy - Lights and Music
Cut Copy - Nobody Lost, Nobody Found
Does It Offend You Yeah - Epic Last Song (Lifelike Remix)
DJ Touche - Vampires
Fake Blood - Mars
Fil Ok - Wink Wink (Touche Remix)
FrankMusik - Made Her Smile
Hot Chip - Wrestlers
Illinois - Hang On
Kanye West - Welcome to Heartbreak
Kings of Leon - Closer
Lil Wayne - Tie My Hands
Lord Skywave - Maybe I Need To
Lord Skywave - Something
Mark Knight and the Funkagenda - Man with the Red Face
MGMT - Electric Feel
MGMT - Electric Feel (Justice Remix)
MGMT - Kids (Soulwax Nite Version)
MGMT - Kids (The Kooks cover)
N.E.R.D. - Laugh About It
O’Neal McKnight - Check Your Coat
T.I. - Whatever You Like
The Black Ghosts - Any Way You Choose To Give It (Boy 8-Bit Mix)
The Black Ghosts - Any Way You Choose To Give It (The Whip Remix)
The Black Ghosts - Let’s Get Physical
The Heavy - Set Me Free
The Killers - Spaceman
The Steps - Pull the Cord
The Tallest Man on Earth - Honey Won’t You Let Me In
The Whip - Dubsex
The Whip - Muzzle No. 1
The Whip - Sirens
Trabant - The One (The Black Ghosts Remix)
TV on the Radio - Crying
TV on the Radio - Love Dog
Young Jeezy - Vacation
MOST OVERRATED SONGS
Kanye West - Love Lockdown … I have no idea why this is the primary single. It’s probably an above average song. I skip it on my iPod. Lil Wayne - A Milli … possibly one of the most annoying songs of all time. Young Jeezy ft. Kanye West - Put On … I’ve tried to like this song but I really can’t. Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love … this is a Wilson Phillips rip off! Please!
DISAPPOINTING NEW ALBUMS
The Mars Volta… I like The Mars Volta and listened to their most recent CD. After like 4-5 times around, I stopped listening to it.
The Kooks… it was actually a good CD… but was it different in any way? It sounded like Inside In/Inside Out on shuffle. I like “Gap” but probably because it’s a “Naive” remix.
Kanye West … if you read this blog, you’ve read my Kanye rants. If you think 808s is great, listen to The College Dropout again. That should cure you.
WHAT TO WATCH FOR IN 2009
FrankMusik
I really really like FrankMusik and think that his debut album could catch on in a big way. It’s being produced by Stuart Price who most recently worked on The Killers Day & Age. You may say, “Chris, I thought Day & Age sucked.” And I would say you’re wrong. All of the people that didn’t like Day & Age decided that Brandon Flowers need to make upbeat, poppy jams to reach the same level as Hot Fuss. While that may not be in the cards for The Killers anymore, that’s the exact sound that FrankMusik produces. He even uses the echo effect on his vocals in “Gotta Boyfriend” that Brandon Flowers used to love. I think he’ll either blow up in a big way… or nobody in the US will ever hear of him unless they read a snarky music blog (or this shitty one).
Theo Keating AKA DJ Touche AKA Fake Blood AND Simon Lord AKA Lord Skywave
As you can already tell, I’m OBSESSED with The Black Ghosts members Theo Keating and Simon Lord. I’m guessing that Theo Keating will be busy next year as well. Hopefully, there’s more Fake Blood production on the way. Simon Lord is collaborating with Flowers of Doom for their upcoming album and he’s planning his second Lord Skywave album. It also sounds like there will be another The Black Ghosts album in 2009. Keep in mind that Lindsay Lohan also listens to The Black Ghosts. God, I am so fucking cool… and no, that’s not how I heard about them. LISTEN TO THE BLACK GHOSTS!
The Shameless Lesbians vs. The Black Ghosts
Pop Is Back
My one sweeping prediction (that doesn’t sound like much of a prediction) is that pop is back. What does that mean? I’m not sure. But I’m pretty positive that by the end of 2009, people will be reviewing the resurgence of pop music. Pop music is interesting because there really is no defining set of characteristics. But you can look at the recent past to see new attempts at “pop”. Kanye West said 808’s was a pop album. A lot of the electro-pop music is sounding quite poppy these days. Even Britney has made a comeback. BBC picked Little Boots and her pop sound as the #1 artist to watch in 2009. We’ll see…
I’ve emerged from my blog coma to celebrate the past year of OfficialChrisDuncan. I’ve subjected you to my incredibly biased opinion for a little over a year now. The OCD is spreading like a disease and I have the numbers to prove it. OfficialChrisDuncan recorded 25,537 Visits, 22,062 Absolute Unique Visitors, and 39,390 Pageviews. OCD had 48,271 YouTube Video views an the YouTube Channel was viewed 1,723 times. My Flickr Photos recorded 73,464 and the photostream was viewed 10,629 times. And I haven’t even started posting nude pictures yet.
I'd like to pretend the party hats were to celebrate OCD... they weren't.
There is (maybe) one thing more important than my anniversary… the Presidential Inauguration on Tuesday afternoon. Years from now, people will look back and see the issues facing our world at this historic time. We had the worst financial crisis in a generation. We have the Gaza conflict flaring up again. We had the Miracle on the Hudson. And then we had this…
Paul Blart: Mall Cop will be the #1 movie in America when Obama takes office. For shame.
I’m worried about our country. There are some issues that I know Barack Obama will not be able to address. The most frightening of these issues? Paul Blart: Mall Cop finished #1 at the box office this weekend. Let me spell it out for you: Paul Blart: Mall Cop will be the #1 movie in America when the first black President takes office. I blame you, America. Perhaps more frightening is the upcoming slate “mall cop” shenanigans. Seth Rogen will star in a “mall cop” movie called Observe & Report. FOX has also greenlit a pilot for a TV series about a mall cop called “Walorsky”. Here’s the summary:
New comedy greenlights include “Walorsky,” which follows the exploits of an ex-cop who now patrols a shopping mall in Buffalo, N.Y. He’s forced to start caring about his job — and not just Buffalo sports — when he’s partnered with a rookie.
That is potentially the worst plot I have ever heard in my life. I’m gonna go out on a limb now and predict that Donal Logue will be the unfortunate soul that gets roped into that role. The fact that there are THREE mall cop comedies coming out is a bit frightening. But to put it in perspective, Lincoln was seeing “Our American Cousin” at Ford’s Theater. It’s a fish-out-of-water comedy about an American that meets his aristocratic English relatives. Maybe Paul Blart: Mall Cop won’t be such a pathetic historical benchmark after all…
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Now that I’ve unleashed my first bitch session in a while, we can get back to the real heroes. Check out the pictures below from the Miracle on the Hudson taken by a FDNY rescue worker. Let’s salute the brave men and women who ensured that the passengers of Flight 1549 were safe. Stay tuned for upcoming posts including a recap of tunes from 2008 and a guide on how to sneak into any party.
I’m lazy and I also might be murdered if I don’t post this. This piece (pun intended) comes from one of my female friends who would like to be called Miss June. She’s decided to analyze some of the porn industry’s top male performers.
I hate to use the word star when related to porn, as I blame many of these ‘stars’ for perpetuating ideas that us gals love getting ‘facials’, piledrivers, and getting slapped with your member following zero foreplay. I blame them for the ‘moves’ frat guys have been trying to pull off as being sexy for decades. Below is a short list of some of my very least favorite male porn stars. These lucky bastards, who are commonly creepy, decorated with tribal tats, and bulging roided out muscles have been ruining what could have been sexy moments with their grunting, nonsensical dirty talk, and fugly mugs for years. In no particular order: Read the rest of this entry →
OCD was launched in early 2008 by the Official Chris Duncan. He writes about pop culture and current events including entertainment news, trashy reality TV, sports, politics, and celebrity culture.
#2 From VH1s Scream Queens speed up to the 1:15 mark http://www.vh1.com/video/play.jhtml?id=1600883&vid=324490 And don't give me shit, I caught this randomly flipping through...
This is indeed the D.A.S. Wassup Forum. I nominate you to be the official keeper of the DAS Wassup encounter thread. And don't worry, I'm crafting a few gay porn sites right now!
