The Official Chris Duncan Web Site

You may have seen news coverage of the protest group called TakeBackNYU.  After reading their absurd FAQ, I decided to post a comment on their most recent post.  Not surprisingly, these cowards did not approve my comment but felt the need to approve a number of mostly positive comments.  These kids are  JOKE.  Here’s the comment:
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Dear Kids With Too Much Time,
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Let’s examine the first “answer” in your FAQ:
“Yes! Every public institution, including public universities, are required by law to fully disclose their operating budgets. Additionally, the trend in the global economic market has been towards full disclosure. Companies realize that transparency leads to good (i.e. profitable) business practices.”
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Umm, NYU is a PRIVATE, NON-PROFIT university (that you chose to attend).  Are you guys serious?  Also, did you even read the Gothamist article that you cite?  CLEARLY, tuition increases are not directly related to inflation and NYU is below national and state averages.  I also find it hilarious that you think “secrecy” of salaries protects discrimination.  Well, it also aids you in negotiation, fools.  The result of full disclosure would be an increase in salaries which would directly contradict your goal of lower tuition.  I guess you could fire some teachers and have bigger classes, but you’d probably protest that too.  I understand the goals you’re trying to achieve… but the reasons are nonsensical (and comical in some cases).
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At least you guys got yourselves on Drudge.  Maybe Obama will give you a war to protest and we can all call it a day.  I’m just happy I’ve moved on from NYU and don’t have to witness this idiocy.  I have one demand: shut up.
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Thanks for making us all look like pricks,
Alum

Mr. Phoenix was on Letterman last night and looked like a complete greaseball. I guess it’s a part of his act where he pretends he wants to be a rapper and Casey Affleck films it… but in any case, it wasn’t very funny. I was happy that Letterman took the time to hammer him concluding the interview with, “Joaquin, I’m sorry you couldn’t be here tonight”. At least you were temporarily the #1 search trend on twitter, asshole.

He couldn’t even set up his own movie clip (Two Lovers) and pretended he had no idea what was going on. It was quite annoying. If you’re going for a new persona, at least make it worth watching. You have three options Joaquin Rafael Bottom (Wikipedia says that’s his real name): make your fake rap act more interesting, go back to being a real actor, or disappear. As Tom Sizemore eloquently stated in True Romance, “You’re an actor. ACT, motherfucker!”  Here’s a picture of him looking like a hobo and his Letterman interview:

This February, Joaquin Phoenix IS homeless

If you were watching the Grammys last night, you probably caught some of the awful fashion.  There were future outfits, unnecessary hats, and then whatever Coldplay wore (image below).  Are they musical Power Rangers?  Then below we have two videos of the incredibly ugly Blake Griffin throwing down against Colorado.  Upon being drafted into the NBA, he will compete with the likes of Charlie Villanueva and Shelden Williams for title of ugliest baller around.

Coldplay spun the Roy G. Biv wheel to come up with this ensemble

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What do these pictures have in common?  The first answer is “nothing”.  But if you take another look you may achieve a deeper understanding.  Below are three displays of the highest level of BFFery.
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John McEnroe commented, "If it smells like a rat..."

Nadal and Federer are opponents when they take the court, but warm and caring lovers as they leave.  Suburban high school girls band together use science to improve their beer drinking experience.  They’re completely different pictures with such similar messages.

Can somebody explain to me how pouring beer from a bottle into a larger bottle with the same size opening enhances the experience?

The one that you might not understand is the last picture.  If my buddy Paul was a real BFF, would he let that guy sleep on the ground?  No, no he would not.  To understand the BFFery, you have to look past a guy giving a thumbs up next to a passed out guy on the ground.  Think about the scenery and the context.  The real BFF is me, the OCD.  Only a true friend is there in a moment of need — such as taking a picture when a guy passes out in his suit next to a pile of horse shit.
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There's no way that guy just fell down there. So when did he decide to pass out alone in a clearing?

The NFL had quite the opening ceremony for the Super Bowl.  The opportunity to appear in that pre-game show is prestigious for entertainers and personalities of all kinds.  However, it was still a little surprising to see two of the people flanking Roger Goodell on Sunday.

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First, they brought in the crew of Flight 1549 including THE Chelsea “Sully” Sullenberger that landed the plane.  Pretty much all they did was receive and introduction and wave to the crowd.  I guess they’re pretty used to that by now.

What could they possibly be talking about? Geese?

My favorite appearance in Tampa was by coin-tosser extraordinaire General David Petraeus.  When he’s not tossing coins, he runs the United States Central Command and oversees US operations in 20 countries.   I guess he wasn’t booked on Sunday.

"I loved you in Generation Kill!"