The Official Chris Duncan Web Site

Yes Man is a crappy movie and also finished #1 at the box office this past weekend. I can’t say that I’m surprised since Jim Carrey is such a box office beast. Mr. Jenny McCarthy was fortunate that Will Smith’s Seven Pounds is apparently very bad as well. Even without a Big Willie Style Flop, you had to know that Yes Man would perform well. I’ve known about this movie since my brother sent me an email back in September:

My brother is incredibly insightful.

Big names like Jim Carrey and promotion drive the box office these days. The window to make money at theaters is becoming smaller and smaller. The success of most wide releases depends on frontloading the promotion and thereby the revenue. There are very few movies that register any significant returns after the first 6-8 weeks. Warner Bros. must be on to something because they may break the domestic box office record of $1.75 billion. I guess that’s why I started seeing Yes Man posters in November. My friend John took advantage of one of their “viral marketing tools” to trash the movie:

Viral marketing is the wave of the future!

It’s disheartening for me that Jim Carrey chose this movie to get “back in the saddle”. Recently, I watched part of Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls on one of the superstations. I thought to myself, “This isn’t so bad… it’s even pretty funny.” I remember that I used to think that movie sucked… but compared to Jim Carrey’s latest it’s gold.

• The critics agree: Yes Man and Liar Liar are the same movie.
• Universal making “tens of millions” off of music videos on YouTube.  On the flip side, Warner removes music videos from YouTube.
• A few awesome pictures of Wrigley being prepared for the Winter Classic (Red Wings/Blackhawks): One Two Three
• Take-Two’s 2008 reports $11.1 million in costs related to Electronic Arts’ hostile takeover bid.  Huh?
• Hot Chip makes “We’re Looking For A Lot of Love” available to download. It’s from their new EP.
• BBC News: Surgeons give teenager a new chin. “If they stare at him now, it’s only out of admiration.” Right…
• Nerd wants to protest Steve Jobs’ decision not to speak at Macworld. Loser.
• In case you didn’t realize, Somali pirates are fucking gangster.
• Most predictable spinoff of all time: Celebrity Rehab Presents Sober House. Yes, it’s real.  Also, Steven Adler was just ordered back to rehab.
• Judge Dredd remake in the works.  Current suggestions for JD: The Rock, Jason Statham, Vin Diesel.
• NBC Kills Top Gear USA.  I think it could’ve been good.  Blame the economy.
• Ragging on Ben Silverman Has Gone Mainstream.  People love to copy my blog.  I guess DeadlineHollywood hated BS before me.
• David Beckham moves to AC Milan, admits American soccer isn’t the highest level.  Does he still own part of the Galaxy?
• Video games for old people.  Looks boring.
• MTV set to debut College Life.  Seems similar (identical?) to RJ Cutler’s Freshman Diaries.
• Burger King’s Flame body spray is apparently sold out.  WTF.

Katherine Pope will likely leave NBC. HuffPo heaped the blame on her a couple weeks back for the cancellations of Lipstick Jungle and My Own Worst Enemy. Obviously, that was before Knight Rider was canceled. Ben Silverman is expected to keep his job as he has increased profits at the Peacock. I would be afraid to fire somebody with spiky eyebrows too. I’m curious to find out how much make-goods cost them when a series laden with product placement (MOWE w/ GM, Knight Rider w/ Ford) dies.

I've heard of angry eyebrows... but these are devilishly furious eyebrows

• Variety: Syndication at a tipping point; Oprah, Jerry Springer, Tyra all feeling the pain.
• Play N Skillz suprprised by Grammy nom for Got Money.  The beat for “The Bill Collector” is also pretty good.
• Silvio Berlusconi decides to tax porn. Inevitably, this brings up the “what qualifies as porn?” discussion.
• Gothamist takes a first look at Real World: Brooklyn.
• From the land of horrible ideas: Full House “semi-remake” focusing on Jodi Sweeten/Candace Cameron being pushed by Stamos.
• If you’re afraid terrorists deploying Weapons of Mass Destruction, you have no idea what you’re talking about. If you don’t believe me, believe CNN.
• Italian Serie C soccer player admits to whoring himself for money… and implicates Serie A (major league) players. Note that they’re talking about having sex with men.
• US jobless rate approaches 7%.
• Producer Rob Knox talks about the best song from TI’s Paper Trail, Dead and Gone. Note that Paper Trail will be re-released with ANOTHER track with contributions from T.I., Knox, and Justin Timberlake. Who wants to bet that Dead and Gone or that track is a huge single once released?
• Heidi’s mom says Spencer drugged Heidi. Spencer lashes back.

Sean Avery is hilarious but also a d-bag. Elisha Cuthbert’s ex felt the need to run his mouth now that people know his name. It has to suck when you’re more known for your ex-girlfriends or a publishing internship than your actual career in the NHL. At the same time, it’s not Elisha Cuthbert’s fault that she likes to bone hockey players. I sense a bit of jealousy in Sean Avery’s comments. Would you ever see his name in the news (or a box score) unless he said something extreme? Reading the original article, I ended up seeing Mr. Avery’s profile picture on ESPN. Lame. Here’s more visual evidence of his douchebaggery:

Did he buy those glasses off of Lenny Kravitz?

I wonder what he's going to say about Shanahan when they break up

• CW to spin off Gossip Girl into Jenny Humphrey show?
• Knight Rider is officially dead.  Next up: American Gladiators.
• In smart but less-than-innovative plan, The Dark Knight will be re-released in theaters 6 weeks after the DVD release. Also, The Dark Knight to debut on VOD before DVD in Korea.
• Entertainment Weekly declares Seth MacFarlane “smartest man in TV”. Apparently, ripping off The Simpsons makes you a genius.
• Colt McCoy wins Big 12 Offensive Player of the Year… then named second team All Big 12 QB. Huh?
• MySpace to offer videos through mobile.
• IFC unveils for domestic trailer for Steven Soderbergh’s Che starring Benicio Del Toro.
• Check out first images of Christian Bale and Johnny Depp (as John Dillinger) in Public Enemies.
• Apparently, Stephen Colbert reads my blog and has “declared war on Kanye West”.
• For The Record: Britney’s ratings good but not great.
• For the fiends: New Lost trailers.
• BBC News: How to deliver a ransom to pirates.
• Check out the new Aftermath & Eminem mixtape. Also, Eminem - Number One.

Justin Timberlake made a surprise appearance on SNL last night and killed.  He started with a super-speed monologue on Weekend Update where he ran through his entire (now cancelled) episode that he was going to host next week.  Later, he appeared in this skit as a backup dancer for Beyonce.  Paul Rudd was also a great host.  Maybe SNL isn’t dead.

Bringing sexy back?

• Netflix CEO thinks the remote control will be replaced by a sweet Wiimote-like pointer.
• Hillary Duff to star in NBC show.
• Hollywood scales back partying.
• Newest Guitar Hero not selling as well as previous installment.
• British woman divorces husband for virtual world sex. Also worth noting is that she met her (now estranged) husband in an online chat room.
• Prison Break coming to an end?
• Rosie O’Donnell “variety show” on NBC will feature Kathy Griffin, Jane Krakowski, Alanis Morissette, Danny Bonaduce, Dane Cook and Joe Francis. That sounds random and horrible.
• Paris potential BFF Corrie Loftin was not only in GGW, but also did softcore nude pics under the pseudonym Devin Lexen.
• My mustache heroes: the Croatian water polo team.
• Obama gives first weekly YouTube address.
• Robert Swift has a stupid tattoo on his arm (of the And1 guy). Idiot.
• Tatum Bell, previously a member of the Lions and manager of a cell phone store, signs with the Broncos.
• Maloof’s partner with Mark Burnett for reality show about the Sacramento Kings.
• Pros & Cons of the Blackberry Storm and iPhone 3G.
• Kanye West blogs about his arrest.
• Matthew McConaughey must’ve been stoned when he made up this exercise.
• Justin Timberlake buys $5.5 mn loft in NYC.
• Hamid Karzai offers Taliban safety deal.
• Kim Jong Il “makes new public appearance”.

NY Mag has harsh words about “Amazing” and “Tell Everybody That You Know” two tracks leaked from Kanye’s upcoming CD. I love a lot of what Kanye’s done. Everybody knows he’s an excellent producer and lyricist … but his vocals and flow are suspect at times. I actually like both songs and they will probably be popular, but you can’t call this an improvement on his past work.  “Amazing” almost sounds like a Kid Rock’s “Only God Knows Why” mixed with the Gangsta’s Paradise choir. And everybody still talks about Kid Rock’s slowed-down vocoder song… oh wait, no they don’t. Thankfully Young Jeezy is a good addition — he had a slick appearance on “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” from Graduation.

I don’t know how to feel about these songs though. They’re worth listening to… but they aren’t really “Kanye West songs”. When I heard them, I immediately thought either 1) somebody close to him died or 2) he and his girl split. Apparently, it’s both.  His mom died about a year ago from botched plastic surgery and because he and Alexis Phifer broke up a few months ago. The title of Mr. West’s upcoming CD is 808’s and Heartbreak. The former referring to the drum machine nicknamed the “808″ and the latter presumably referring to Phifer. Maybe Kanye grew up. He surprised me the most by failing to mention a single brand (I think). In 2004, he topped the American Brandstand list with mentions of 19 different brands in 4 of his songs (19 brands in 4 songs - Avis, Boost, Cadillac, Cartier, Cool Whip, Ensure, Geico Insurance, Hennessy, Jacob the Jeweler, Lexus, x2, Mercedes, MTV, Nike x2, Pepsi, Rolex, Toys R Us, Versace).  Although, the new “maturity” didn’t stop him from claiming he’s the “voice of a generation”.

Do you like the new Kanye West? Yes No View Results  Loading ...

Gap creates potentially the most annoying celebrity holiday song commercial of all time

• NBC to air 3-D episode of Chuck after the Super Bowl… and then realize Chuck will never be popular. This is reminiscent of INCESSANT My Own Worst Enemy promos during the Olympics.
• Obama to resign from Senate on Sunday.
• Viewers of election coverage like and dislike O’Reilly the least. Katie Couric sandwiched between O’Reilly and Fox News (in general) on disliked list. Ouch.
• Heidi and Spencer will appear on “How I Met Your Mother”. Ugh.
• 60 Minutes books first post-election interview with Barack and Michelle Obama on Sunday.
• NYT says Obama dresses like Jerry Seinfeld.
• Preview Kanye’s competition… The Killers Day & Age
• TMZ says it best, “Travolta Shaves Head, Leaves Beard“. Scary but kind of awesome.  John called it the “Stone Cold” look.
• Chinese government decides to “name and shame” artists that lip-synch.
• Quantum of Solace locations for your James Bond tour.
• Paulson urges automaker aid. Soros: “Hedge funds will be decimated.”
• Bin Laden “cut off” from Al Qaeda operations. I think we’d actually be less safe if he died. At this point, he’s just a trophy.

Here’s a late update.  Anybody want to bet on when Ben Silverman, programming czar at NBC, gets the axe?  Heroes is in the crapper, Chuck isn’t far behind, My Own Worst Enemy & Lipstick Jungle are both canceled, and Knight Rider & Kath and Kim suck.  Here’s the quote that sums it all up:

This year none of the network’s new shows are averaging more than a 2.6 rating. The network had already extended full-season orders to “Knight Rider,” which slipped to a series-low 1.6 last week, and “Kath & Kim,” which has fallen in nearly every outing.

That’s from an article on MediaLife.  The article also mentions the fact that the Heroes lead-out slot (previously occupied by Studio 60, Black Donnellys, and Journeyman among others) never gets any traction.  I think the problem is that Heroes is really a cable show (at least where they’ve taken it) on a network.  It probably belongs on Sci-Fi, which Universal also owns.  The ratings may be eroding, but I think they can keep a core audience.  If Monday Night Football can succeed on ESPN, Heroes could probably kill on Sci-Fi.  Although, Heroes has a massive budget ($4 mn per episode) that probably wouldn’t work on Sci-Fi.  Good thing it isn’t my job to fix this mess.

• Along with My Own Worst Enemy, Lipstick Jungle also gets axed.  Can you hear them calling for Ben Silverman’s head yet?
• LeBron can’t feel own face, dunks from free throw line.
• Love handles will kill you.
• Comedy Central to produce “Evan and Gareth Are Trying to Get Laid” pilot.  It’s about two guys that run an online advice site.  Entertaining?  Probably not.
• Stan Lee to produce gay superhero TV show.  Seems like a little much.
• ESPN’s bid to put BCS bowl games on cable could dramatically alter identity of ABC.
• Jake Plummer moves on from the NFL… to handball.
• Mark Begich leads Ted Stevens by THREE (3) votes to be one of Alaska’s senators.
• NYT’s Sorkin praises Paulson for new TARP direction.  WaPo says bailout lacks oversight.
• What’s it like being Paris Hilton?  Still want to be famous?
  
• Another celeb-driven animated movie is coming… this time with Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Kristen Wiig, etc.
• Former web series Sanctuary gets renewed for 2009 after the channel’s most-watched premiere since 2006
  
• FOX and NBC team up for local news coverage starting in Philly.
  
• Colt McCoy is rooting for Oklahoma.  OCD is as well.
  
• Web-version of Office will work on Linux, iPhone.

Unfortunately, this post is not about how The Election, Heroes, and Bill O’Reilly are related. That would be an amazing post though. The OCD Late Edition will be a new effort to post on a near-daily basis on this site. The common thread will be that there is no common thread — except for it’s all stuff that I care about.

• The Heroes Showrunners have been FIRED. This is a sign that NBC knows that the show is dragging ass lately. I told my friend John that I could see this show making a “graceful” transition to Sci-Fi after a couple more seasons. NBC Universal owns both NBC and Sci-Fi.
• Watch the Election (and know what you’re talking about): Election Tools #1 and Election Tools #2
• Being a jackass has caught up to O’Reilly. Also, did you know that Bill O’Reilly uses a vibrator on himself? I feel the need to bring that up as much as possible.
• Joaquin Phoenix is going to retire from acting. Who knew that actors retired? My two initial theories are that he 1) will start a porno career or 2) he will go the way of Harry Connick Jr. and release a jazz CD.
• Boondock Saints will have a sequel
• Pepsi might have a new logo (in addition to a new marketing/PR scheme)

So I haven’t tuned in to another episode of this trainwreck (the bad kind, not the entertaining kind). But I did end up happening upon a few hilarious tidbits of information.

American Gladiators is already re-upped for a second season
Yes, it’s coming back. I’m going to blame it on the writer’s strike. It doing well, ratings-wise. Gladiators had the highest-rated debut for NBC since Heroes premiered. As of last Monday, NBC dominated the ratings. Deal or No Deal started it off and Gladiators helped continue the trend. However, ratings for Gladiators did drop from the previous week and I have to think that the Deal or No Deal lead-in helps. That shit is on in the gym constantly (Deal or No Deal), so I’m assuming people like it. Good news, apparently the Gladiators are all tested for steroids. Doesn’t everybody just assume they take steroids? Who cares anyway?

MGM is creating an American Gladiators cartoon
I’m not really sure who the hell came up with this idea or how it got any support… but I can’t wait to trash that stupidity once it’s on the air. But according to the press release:

With the show’s strong ratings, MGM along with Johnny Ferraro, owner of Flor-Jon, Films Inc. have put into development a cartoon series based on the “American Gladiators” franchise.

The press release also goes on to say that the Gladiators are going on tour WWE-style. They’re also launching a website paying homage to the old series (hey, at least they had one good idea). Chances of the Gladiators cartoon airing an entire season: 5 to 1.

One of the recent American Gladiators contestants was in softcore porn
You too can be on the new American Gladiators. Just visit NBC’s casting section. It’s a sure-fire way to boost your career if you’re a struggling actor, right? Well that’s what Belinda Gavin figured.

Belinda is a 36-year-old bull rider originally from Australia. She grew up on ranches in Australia and was regularly taunted and dared to do things even the boys wouldn’t do. Her bravado stayed with her when she immigrated to the United States 15 years ago, leading her to become a bull rider. She currently lives in Burbank, California.

Well, I guess she can still technically qualify as a bull rider. But Belinda Gavin’s IMDB entry lists credits in features such as: Bikini Round Up, Bikini Chain Gang, Bikini Airways, Wicked Pleasures, and Passionate Deceptions. Bikini Airways was great, but I felt the series really fell off after that… oh yeah, her pseudonym is Kylie Wyote (you know, like Wile E. Coyote).