OCD Classic: YOU HURT ME

The guy that breaks down is awesome. In a previous scene, he wore a light blue shirt, with blue shorts, and light blue Crocs. This gem was from the episode of Wife Swap that aired last night. The clip is pretty self-explanatory...

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Kevin Garnett's NBA Finals Postgame Rant

I hope you all were watching Game 6 of the NBA Finals where the Celtics thoroughly beat down the Lakers. Kevin Garnett was assaulted by Michele Tafoya after the game and was forced into an interview. Clearly, it was an emotional moment since KG says some random and crazy things. He kicks it off with "ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!" and then some profanity... sweet. Thanking Chicago and his mom and whoever else was a nice touch. The interview probably should have ended after "TOP OF THE WORLD! TOP OF THE WORLD!" The clip underneath was my first dabble with Red Lasso. It's the incredibly interesting and informative piece on Kevin Garnett bringing peanut butter and jelly to the Celtics. Red Lasso lets me get clips from broadcast TV and a few cable televisions. They've gotten cease and desist letters from the major networks... but I'll use it until The Man brings them down!

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Worst Ads of All Time

The new WNBA commercials are horrible. They all start with WNBA stars lambasting women's basketball before it ends with "SHE WOULDN'T SAY THAT. WOULD YOU?" Don't get me wrong -- that grabs your attention and makes a point. On the other hand, they seriously fail to evoke any actions from a viewer.

At best, they can get somebody who dislikes women's basketball to say "hey, it's not so bad". If you have a viewer that's neutral or already a fan, there's nothing for them to take away from the message. At the same time, the commercial opens with overwhelmingly negative comments about women's basketball. Nobody is going to seek the WNBA on TV or buy game tickets after seeing those spots. It's like the NFL coming out with a Michael Vick/Pacman Jones commercial preaching the virtues of thug life. Although that probably WOULD increase viewership and sell tickets.

Below are two of the videos that I've actually seen on TV (during NBA games). The Candace Parker spot on top is probably worse. She has some pretty harsh words while they show a montage of WNBA highlights. The second one... I don't even have to say anything here. Even the first WNBA ad campaign ("We Got Next") is better than this crap. You can watch them for yourself and decide how much of a sexist douchebag I am...

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OCD Actual Conversation & Work Email

Below are two recent exchanges ... one between me and a friend (Anonymous Asshole Friend) and the other is with my co-worker Lisa K and a girl that wanted a job in our department. Two things are clear: Isiah Thomas is a jackass and you should put more than 5 minutes of effort into a cover letter.

OCD: Now Cablevision is trying again, with a $15 million campaign — the biggest since Fuse was introduced in 2003 — and yet another attempt to portray Fuse as a source of mainstream music. This time, Cablevision is turning to one of its own to make the marketing work: Kristin Dolan, who, in addition to being a senior vice president at the company, is the wife of James L. Dolan, Cablevision’s chief executive.
AAF: hahaha awesome
OCD: In addition to boning the CEO, she is also a marketing person
AAF: and isiah thomas has been named general manager, president and head coach of the fuse network


From Lisa
> Hi Cameron:
>
> Thanks for sending this through. A word to the wise, when you are
> sending a cover letter, you should probably fill in the generic blanks
> before sending :)

Cameron's Response
I'm mortified. Thank you for telling me instead of just not
responding, now it's a mistake I'll never make again. Sorry for
wasting your time and I appreciate your response.

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Lindsay Lohan's Gust-o @ MTV Movie Awards

Linz walked the red carpet and showed off her svelt look and also her undies. ThisIsLondon has posted pictures from the MTV Movie Awards.


A few important notes:

• An untimely gust of wind lifted Lindsay Lohan's dress before she could fight it back down.
• Rumer Willis still needs chin-reduction surgery
• Megan Fox looked amazing and should never stand next to anybody EVER... it's just not fair (she's also smart enough to hold her dress down)
• Anne Hathaway, who I think is dreamy, wins award for most resembling the main character from the movie Powder
• As much as I want to hate Heidi Montague, she looks FUCKING great
• Sarah Jessica Parker broke the world record for eyeshadow... she looks like she's possessed
• Rainn Wilson came oh-so-close to Brian-Austin-Greening Megan Fox

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OCD Quote of the Day 5/30

"As an American I am ashamed and embarrassed that this film was made. I pray that it's a huge failure."

Those were the words of Kevin from College Station, TX. He would like to apologize to the rest of the world for the piece of shit that is Sex and the City. I actually respect SATC as an entertainment property but think that it does have a negative effect on our society. Prepare yourself for my SATC Weekend posts. It's going to be fab.




Want to be famous by seeing your name on my blog? Email a tip or potential quote of the day to officialchrisduncan@gmail.com.

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Sidney Crosby's Unfortunate Mustache

In hockey, players grow "playoff beards" to show unity and represent their dedication to winning. Sidney Crosby has attempted to grow a beard and it's more like a furry chinstrap and a hilarious mustache. The Next One has his work cut out with Detroit and may not get a chance to taste Stanley Cup victory. But it's a given that Crosby will be back in the future with a much better approach to his playoff beard.

Sidney Crosby has 21 points during the playoffs and even less hairs on his upper lip

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OCD Actual Conversation: Bruce Bowen is Gay

Apparently one of my friends has decided that Bruce Bowen is gay. It's actually pretty funny for me to imagine him with a hoop earring and some flamboyant clothing. The "bonghitters" mention is a reference to us getting smoked (pun somewhat intended) by the High Times softball team.

Bruce Bowen does not like these allegations
Anonymous Asshole Friend: do you think the NBA's nightmare will come true with another Spurs V Pistons final?
OfficialChrisDuncan: hahaha... that would be great
OfficialChrisDuncan: I'll kill myself if it's Celtics/Lakers and they talk about the tradition
OfficialChrisDuncan: and how Kobe vs. KG is like Magic vs. Bird
Anonymous Asshole Friend: haha, me too, i really don't want to see that
OfficialChrisDuncan: god, that would be the worst
OfficialChrisDuncan: it also makes me happy knowing that Kobe will be one year older without winning
OfficialChrisDuncan: http://www.playboy.com/blog/2008/05/bad-news-bunnies.html#more
Anonymous Asshole Friend: agreed, i too would love another pistons spurs cause the spurs own detroit and i need some hockey retribution
OfficialChrisDuncan: hahah FUCK YOU
OfficialChrisDuncan: Spurs are very good though
OfficialChrisDuncan: I like their team a lot
Anonymous Asshole Friend: the best
OfficialChrisDuncan: minus Bruce Bowen and Tony Parker
Anonymous Asshole Friend: you don't like them?
OfficialChrisDuncan: Manu pisses me off because he's good
OfficialChrisDuncan: Bruce Bowen is douche and I think TP is overrated
OfficialChrisDuncan: maybe TP isn't overrated anymore
Anonymous Asshole Friend: TP is not overrated
Anonymous Asshole Friend: points in the paint man, he owns that shit and he's little
Anonymous Asshole Friend: Bowen pisses everyone off who isn't a spurs fan but that's his job
OfficialChrisDuncan: yeah... the Claude Lemieux
Anonymous Asshole Friend: haha ... who isn't a bitch
Anonymous Asshole Friend: bruce bowen looks like a gay man too
Anonymous Asshole Friend: if he had an earing in his ear
OfficialChrisDuncan: hahahahah
OfficialChrisDuncan: don't make me cackle at work
Anonymous Asshole Friend: it's true, spurs are the bonghitters of NBA basketball

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OCD Breakdown: The Real World Hollywood

The new, Joey-less Real World was sad but still entertaining. While this is certainly not my favorite Real World, this cast does seem to have some potential. Below are five points that are highlighted in the latest episode.

JoJo is a hoho

JoJo is back Ask and you shall receive. The biggest douchebag in the Los Angeles area made another appearance on the show. This time, he actually seals the deal with Brianna. I think there are two important things to note about his appearance: the LA shadow beard and the back-of-mullet that is now pony-tailed off. Having either is grounds for a beating... but both?

Sarah realizes how judgmental she is I love the way they talk about how skanky Brianna is... yet she isn't even the one getting plowed by a roommate. Bri didn't even get a chance to open her legs before Kimberly. Also, what is your mom or boyfriend going to do about your bitching? Just please shut the fuck up and cheat on your boyfriend for real. Otherwise, you are worthless.

Whitebread sandwich as per usual OMG can you believe Dave and Kim are hooking up? It's just like every Real World where the two most whitebread people in the house are teetering on the edge of a relationship. It happened recently in Sydney (Cohutta/Kelly Anne), Denver (Alex/Colie), Austin (Danny/Melinda), Las Vegas (Steven/Trishelle), etc.

Greg sucks This kid is a bitch. He acts hard because he's a loner. It's the whole "I don't need anybody else" routine... but you know he just has low self-esteem. The fashion show makes this pretty obvious. He walks the catwalk like an idiot -- twirling his jacket and pirouetting. Can somebody please knock this douchebag down off of his high horse?

Das Not Wassup Alex and I had Will's "Das Wassup" count at 3 after the first episode. Since then, he has not uttered the phrase once. I'm going to assume that he still says it but that the production team has edited it out of some scenes. I am very, very disappointed.

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Summer Fashion: Nips and Snatch

I wish more girls would wear Old Navy. The new Old Navy commercial in the "Neon Nights" series runs on national television very often and resident nipple sleuth Alex pointed out that a nip makes a brief appearance. With his expert DVR skills, we were able to use slow-mo and find the exact instant that nipple is most evident. The pictures are below:


Most likely due to the fact that I have the television habits of a 13 year-old girl, I have seen that same Old Navy commercial about 20 times in the past week. If you haven't noticed, Old Navy has been re-positioning its products by creating commercials that try to convince teens that a young adult model may wear one of their garments to a hot night club. It definitely has that "The Hills" vibe. The new idea is low cost clothing but high fashion style. Not a bad idea if H&M, Zara, etc. weren't already doing it. It's at least better than the solid color background commercials that showed the piece and the price. Although my research for this post indicated that this new line got generally positive reviews. The other funny thing was my search brought me to a blog post asking how often its readers went bra-lass. Here's the actual commercial:

Nip happens at 1:36 but it's slightly different in the 30 second spot

Coincidentally, I got a picture message from my friend Cully today. He's in Istanbul on tour with The Gutter Twins. They just played in Lisbon and Athens... lucky bastard. He came across a wall postered for a brand called Snatch Street Fashion. This is probably one of the sweetest logos of all time. I usually don't wear my huge diamond ring when I plan on deploying the shocker. But maybe it's time to start.

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OCD Classic: The "U" Loves Hungry Man

I love this commercial. Drew Rosenhaus is an awesome agent... getting his former "The U" players gigs in Hungry Man commercials. The basic premise: these NFL players go to the grocery store and buy a SHITLOAD of Hungry Man. And that's probably not a good idea if you take a look at the nutrition facts below from a Hungry Man "Classic Fried Chicken" Dinner.

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Chinese Up Them Eyes?

I was on facebook today and saw a pretty ridiculous ad:

NYC Asian Eyelid Surgery
Edward S. Kwak MD, is one the nations top plastic surgeons specializing in Asian facial cosmetic surgery.

So there's a doctor whose last name is essentially "quack" who wants to (I assume) make your eyes look "less Asian". TELL ME MORE!

The ad reminds me of my favorite scene from The Wire. You should go to about 3:00 of the YouTube video below. Basically, some local hoods are taken to the station to help create a composite sketch of a suspect. They fuck around trying to make a picture of the guy with little success and decide to create their ideal woman using the same software. Then there's my absolute favorite part where the ringleader says "Chinese up dem eyes... like Beyonce" and his crony says "Yeah. Das Wassup." at the very end. So I will now liberally use the phrase "Chinese up dem eyes" to mean improving something and adding the "Yeah. Das Wassup" indicates that it is an extreme improvement. The "... like Beyonce" is only necessary in formal situations.



Update: The kid that says "Chinese up dem eyes" is named Anthony Fedd. You can check out his MySpace here... potential OCD Interview material?

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As Predicted, Ambre Wins Rock of Love

Last night, Ambre won the season finale of Rock of Love. I could say that I didn't see it coming except for the fact that I made a post predicting this a month and a half ago. Pats on the back are appreciated. All douchebaggery aside, I was sad to see the show end (not that it's REALLY over) but happy to see Ambre win.

I'm sure there are people that are sad because Daisy lost. Alex has a minor infatuation with the girl. Apparently, she's the niece of Oscar De La Hoya. Who cares slash huh? I personally do not give a shit about Daisy. If you do, you can buy her (shitty) music on Daisy De La Hoya's MySpace profile. Does it make me gay if the most interesting thing to me about Daisy is her ex-boyfriend Charles? At least he brings an element of shiftiness and even more eye makeup, tats, and bandanas to a show that already had more than its fair share. He came on during the "bring on the exes" episode. It's a good thing that it was on DVR because Alex and I could review the replay to confirm that Charles has 4 bandanas on his person at any time. He also opts for extra-formal just like Bret by going hat over bandana. You have to love a guy that can apparently afford steroids, a gym membership, and make up but doesn't pay rent and plays in a band. Can't you just see greatness in him?

Charles has sweet eyebrows

Unfortunately, I was not spot on with my prediction. Bret Michaels bounced both of the old women in the early going. I thought he'd (read: the producers) keep the less heinous one. I thought it would be the old girl plus Megan (the hottest) and Ambre (eventual winner). I have plans to call Megan and interview her about the show and her undying love for me... but I'm lazy. You can leave suggested questions in the comments and maybe it'll help me get around to it...

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OCD Breakdown: I <3 Rock of Love

Rock of Love has to be one of the best shows going right now. I like to say that my range of interests runs the gamut when it comes to television. But that's just another way of justifying the fact that I like garbage. I can call a spade a spade. Rock of Love fanatics, please place your vote for the girl that you think will win in the poll below. My pick is Ambre (explained below).

If you want to disagree with me about Rock of Love, let me try to sway you with my reasoning. The show has the right "mix" with a solid main character, scantily clad women, easy-to-follow while ridiculous storyline, and a healthy dose of intoxication. Let me break it down:

Bret Michaels is awesome
As he appears on the show, Bret Michaels is like any guy who had a ridiculous amount of coming at him. He rolls with it, but he's even surprised with some of the affection that the women show him -- or he's an excellent actor. His gratuitous use of "hey-yo!" is also comical. I just enjoy the fact the Bret Michaels acts the same as any normal guy would if he were in the same situation. Like any other reasonable person, I assumed Bret Michaels was a douchebag based purely on appearance. But when I read the Bret Michaels Playboy.com Dirty Dozen Interview (this was before Rock of Love), I couldn't help but like the guy. The best quote is about the most orgasms he's had in one day: "It was eight, with my current girlfriend. It would be nine because I also masturbated once in there as well."

Megan Hauserman is my friend
Yeah, that's not true. We have worked together for two different events though. I think she's actually really funny on the show. She flashed some of the same smart-assed nature at CollegeFest last September. I was sitting next to her and we were bullshitting with each other. I can't even remember what I was saying to her at the time, but she interrupted me, looked me straight in the eyes, and said, "Are you hitting on me?" I'm pretty sure I wasn't -- at least not overtly. I was so shocked, I think I just walked away. I can't even remember at this point. If only I had known that wearing eye makeup, a bandanna, and a cowboy hat was the key to her heart.

Girl drama to the max
The most memorable moment so far was Aubry's hilarious exit from the show. For those of you who didn't catch that (video below), here's the rundown. She figured it would be her or Kristy Joe eliminated, decided Kristy Joe deserved it more, and then "sacrificed herself" by leaving the show. Shortly after her speech about giving the "greatest gift" to Kristy Joe, Bret revealed that she was going to be eliminated anyway.



I think Ambre will win because she's the all-around best. She's attractive, reasonably intelligent, and athletic. I think she has enough juice to win. Unfortunately, Bret cut the two oldest women -- leaving Ambre as the oldest (I think). I thought he might keep one of them around until the end for age-related drama, but decided to cut the cord. How the hell is Inna still around? Also, I think Daisy is going to be built up again (a-la her date with Bret a while back) and then eliminated. Yes, I think about Rock of Love this much. I am a truly pathetic individual.

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American Gladiators Sucks: Part Deux

So I haven't tuned in to another episode of this trainwreck (the bad kind, not the entertaining kind). But I did end up happening upon a few hilarious tidbits of information.

American Gladiators is already re-upped for a second season
Yes, it's coming back. I'm going to blame it on the writer's strike. It doing well, ratings-wise. Gladiators had the highest-rated debut for NBC since Heroes premiered. As of last Monday, NBC dominated the ratings. Deal or No Deal started it off and Gladiators helped continue the trend. However, ratings for Gladiators did drop from the previous week and I have to think that the Deal or No Deal lead-in helps. That shit is on in the gym constantly (Deal or No Deal), so I'm assuming people like it. Good news, apparently the Gladiators are all tested for steroids. Doesn't everybody just assume they take steroids? Who cares anyway?

MGM is creating an American Gladiators cartoon
I'm not really sure who the hell came up with this idea or how it got any support... but I can't wait to trash that stupidity once it's on the air. But according to the press release:

With the show's strong ratings, MGM along with Johnny Ferraro, owner of Flor-Jon, Films Inc. have put into development a cartoon series based on the "American Gladiators" franchise.

The press release also goes on to say that the Gladiators are going on tour WWE-style. They're also launching a website paying homage to the old series (hey, at least they had one good idea). Chances of the Gladiators cartoon airing an entire season: 5 to 1.

One of the recent American Gladiators contestants was in softcore porn
You too can be on the new American Gladiators. Just visit NBC's casting section. It's a sure-fire way to boost your career if you're a struggling actor, right? Well that's what Belinda Gavin figured.

Belinda is a 36-year-old bull rider originally from Australia. She grew up on ranches in Australia and was regularly taunted and dared to do things even the boys wouldn't do. Her bravado stayed with her when she immigrated to the United States 15 years ago, leading her to become a bull rider. She currently lives in Burbank, California.

Well, I guess she can still technically qualify as a bull rider. But Belinda Gavin's IMDB entry lists credits in features such as: Bikini Round Up, Bikini Chain Gang, Bikini Airways, Wicked Pleasures, and Passionate Deceptions. Bikini Airways was great, but I felt the series really fell off after that... oh yeah, her pseudonym is Kylie Wyote (you know, like Wile E. Coyote).


Can we just bring back Larry Csonka and Mike Adamle? This piece of garbage needs to die.

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FoxNews Entertain-e-ment Experts!

I was watching the O'Reilly Factor the other night. Don't worry -- it's purely for entertainment purposes. I actually used to watch it somewhat regularly about four or five years ago (I also used to watch a lot of MSNBC's broadcast of Imus... I'm a weird guy). The Factor was spot-on as usual (kidding) when they decided to discuss the ENTERTAINEMENT business.

I might put more stock in FoxNews entertainment coverage if they could spell the word correctly

After bringing up Heath Ledger and showing some video of a throng of paparazzi outside of his house, O'Reilly clumsily segued to Oscar nominees. Reviewing the list, O'Reilly declared that he wouldn't see Atonement because it's British and he "doesn't understand the accents" ... ok. He went on to say that Juno was the best movie on the list (haven't seen it, can't disagree) and that There Will Be Blood was unwatchable because people can't "watch oil" for nearly three hours. He also dismissed No Country for Old Men because he didn't understand the ending. Insightful.

The next part was the most entertaine-ing though. Along with his FoxNews cronies (read: scrubs) Jill Dobson and Bill McCuddy, O'Reilly launched into a diatribe about how the Best Picture nominees don't match up with the top box office earners of the year. Huh? So what? I guess it was an attempt at his usual "sticking up for the common man so nobody can challenge me unless they're against America argument, but it really made no sense at all.

O'Reilly jumped the shark in 2002. He used to actually be able to at least provide entertainment value, but now his subjects (whether people or topics of discussion) are just punching bags. Although, I still get immense pleasure from reading his sexual harassment complaint. I mean, what guy doesn't masturbate with a vibrator?

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