The Official Chris Duncan Web Site

I was on my flight this weekend and sat next to one of the worst women of all time. She apparently had changed her flight thinking she could save time by taking ours and re-routing her flight… until we were delayed an hour on the ground. As soon as we were in the air, she took out her laptop. She takes the name very seriously because she refused to use the tray table. I was trying to pass out (as usual) and happened to have my left arm on the armrest. As she opened her laptop, she edged her elbow behind mine and pushed my arm off into my lap. I was shocked. I looked like I was asleep, so I pretended that I wasn’t awake and immediately wished that her laptop would break. About an hour later I randomly woke up and noticed the same thing was about to go down again. I put my arm back on the arm rest and held it down as hard as possible. She tried the same old trick and after a few seconds of frustration she knew she’d have to deal with it. I made sure that I didn’t move my arm for about 20 minutes. Check and mate. I apologize for my lack of posting lately.  As an apology, I offer you one of the best videos of all time starring Stephon Marbury:

Stephon Marbury can’t teach all of the children.

• Rick Reilly breaks down Ron Mexico’s finances.
• Possible details on Beverly Hills Cop 2009. F you Brett Ratner.
• Taylor Kitsch from FNL is Gambit in the new Wolverine movie. Horrible.
• Dr. Pepper offers free 20 oz. Dr. Pepper to all of America if GnR’s Chinese Democracy is released. Obviously, a lawsuit has resulted.
• Assholes including Michael Milken, Conrad Black and American-born Taliban John Walker Lindh have applied for pardons. Be strong GWB.
• You can see Michael Phelps’ girlfriend naked.
• 789 grams of weed found in grave with CAUCASIAN mummy in China.
• NYC demands luxury suite at new Yankee Stadium; trades 250 parking spots worth $820,000/year.
• Larry King to appear on 30 Rock.
• Mashable rounds up the best Google iPhone apps.
• These Beavers smell like roses! (pic)
• Rosie’s variety show gets canceled after one episode. Ellen’s variety show will air Saturday on TBS.

• Winona Ryder accused of stealing Bulgari jewels. Yikes.
• Jack Black is fat and unkempt… but apparently dyes his pubes. I hope he’s not buying hot pink, which is the most popular color.
• BBC reports that the Mumbai attacks “had more the look of a small-scale guerrilla war than a typical al-Qaeda attack.”
• BOOZE CALORIE CALCULATOR.  This thing is scary.
• Viagra was going to release a game.
• Ever wonder what that scar on Tina Fey’s face was from?
• Creed is getting back together because “Stapp is said to be in prime physical and mental condition.”

Jimbo Wales is an innovator. He’s also a big time Google hater and has said that the world’s #1 search engine is severely flawed and lacks openness. Jimmy “Jimbo” Wales is the mind behind Bomis, Wikipedia and Wikia Search. Everybody knows Wikipedia… but people know less about his first project, Bomis, and his most recent project, Wikia Search. You might think he’s a squeaky clean, Silicon Valley nerd… but Bomis was a “babe search engine” and it was discovered that he’s EDITED HIS OWN WIKIPEDIA ENTRY multiple times. The newest project, Wikia Search, was supposed to compete with Google by providing an community-powered search experience. Users could essentially grade the results that they received. Most recently, they added an app platform called WiseAPPS. None of that matters now. Google released “Search Wiki” yesterday and logged in users can do literally the same thing … but with Google. Considering the clout that Google already has by running Blogger, YouTube, and Gmail, it won’t be long until this outstrips Wikia Search. See you later, Jimbo Wales and Wikia Search. Also, has anybody ever noticed how SHITTY the search is within Wikipedia? Unless somebody has created a redirect, you get completely irrelevant results if you mispell anything. Maybe he should focus on that.

Jimbo Wales, we hardly knew ye

• Blackberry Storm gets mixed reviews.
• 50 Cent sues Taco Bell for asking him to change his name to 79 Cent, 89 Cent, or 99 Cent.
• Online advertising actually increased in Q3 despite the economic conditions.
• Selling an $11000 truffle isn’t easy with the economy in bad shape…
• Tall Europeans aren’t as good for the environment as medium-sized Americans.  USA!  USA!
• GLC & Kanye West - “Big Screen” … look, ma, no vocoder! GLC & Kanye have teamed up before … check out Akademics Jeanius Level Music Vol. 2.  It’s awesome.
• Ludacris ft. Jay-Z & Nas - “I Do It For Hip Hop” … Kanye, Luda, The Killers, and GnR all drop albums next week.
• George Clooney is down with the stache.
• If you hate Affliction shirts as much as I do… it’s quite discouraging that Wal-Mart is going to start selling an off-brand version.
• Scrubs starts on ABC Tuesday January 6th @ 9PM.
• Here’s the preview for The Wrestler directed by Darren Aronofsky. Marissa Tomei is HOT, Mickey Rourke’s face is NOT.
• Boston College won’t give students email accounts anymore… just forwarding.
• Victoria Secret model Karolina Kurkova has no belly button. It’s funny how her super-perfect body healed a scar well… and that’s an imperfection.
• Flashback: Letterman did a show with no commercials over 10 years ago. Think about it TV, internet, and mobile video producers.

Wouldn’t it be great if you got a huge bonus each year?  Wouldn’t it be better if that bonus was more money than most people make in a lifetime?  Well, the executives over at Goldman Sachs were receiving 8 figure annual bonuses… until now.

Last year, Blankfein made $68.5 million, Winkelried and Cohn got $67.5 million, and Viniar got $57.5 million. The compensation of the other three was not disclosed.

Lloyd Blankfein took a Michael Vick-esque paycut.  Vick may win on percentage of income lost (making pennies an hour), but Blankfein forfeited more total dollars.  At least we can take comfort knowing that the economic crisis hasn’t affected everybody.  Stephon Marbury and Jerome James will haul in a little less than $30 mn combined and neither have played in a game this season.  The two combined to play 810 minutes last year (805 from Marbury, 5 from James) to pick up their checks work a little over $28 mn.

• Lloyd Blankfein takes $68 mn paycut and will not receive bonus along with other Goldman execs.
• Few NYC bars will be pulling all nighters this New Years Eve.
• The Hills Season 5 is a go. I’m going to guess that it will be the last season.
• Is Google trying to compete with… facebook?
• Dreamworks greenlights high concept movie Motorcade about an attack on the Presidential motorcade. Sounds like Nick of Time… and also bad timing.
• Penthouse to launch Las Vegas hotel-casino?
• Paul McCartney confirms existence of experimental 14-minute Beatles track.
• Brazilian porn movie made lampooning Ronaldo. Hilarious.
• Hulu will generate as much revenue as YouTube next year.
• Check out Toyota’s IQ concept car (site is in Japanese).
• Somebody hacked Miley Cyrus’ YouTube account and put up a video saying she was killed by a drunk driver.
• NFL Players that did the “I can’t feel my face” move today: Fabian Washington, Ike Taylor. Anybody else?

Yesterday, I had my first of two (or more?) posts published on the Playboy Blog. Because I’m quite the looker, the editorial staff felt like throwing me a bone and linking the article on the front page with my picture along with it. I feel like a pseudo-celebrity but not quite at the level of the guy from Crazy Town on Celebrity Rehab. Too bad most people will think that my name is Mark Frazier if they don’t read the article (it is Playboy.com). My phone has been ringing off the hook… but that’s because I misplaced it and was trying to locate it by sound (too bad it was on vibrate). Other than that, it’s business as usual with Official Chris Duncan.

His name is Seth Binzer

I’m sure everybody fucking hates that picture of me by now. I apologize.

While I’m riding high with the increased exposure of the Chris Duncan brand, I’m still not as “big” as Romeo Dev. I was linked to Romeo Dev yesterday by my co-worker Nikolai and then also saw his pictures on the screen of another co-worker. Nikolai linked me to FoxNews and Lisa was looking at the Daily Telegraph. I also saw that Romeo had a link to his Telegraph article on DrudgeReport. Drudge and FoxNews get around a million unique visitors a day. Romeo’s article appeared on The Daily Telegraph, Xinhua News, The Daily Mail, and was syndicated on local Fox News websites. He was also on blogs like Boing Boing and Best Week Ever. That’s a lot of eyeballs.

Bodybuilder Romeo Dev on Xinhua News (bottom right)

The man got a ridiculous amount of exposure for being a dwarf that also happens to be a bodybuilder. This guy is 50,000X more famous than I am and probably just as famous as Seth Binzer. I would have originally said that Romeo was twice as famous, but that was before I found out that he was in the only Martin Short movie I actually like… Clifford. I can’t really count Jungle 2 Jungle and I haven’t seen Three Amigos all the way through. You can look at the graph below that charts blog posts with Seth Binzer vs. Romeo Dev as topics. Obviously, Ice Rocket isn’t the best measuring stick, but it at least gives us part of the story. There’s no denying the spike that Romeo Dev has seen in the past few days. It’s hilarious to me that Romeo chooses to rock a Slim Shady-like hairdo. Two people that saw this for the first time instantly said that he was fake. I’ve been called a lot of nasty things — but nobody has ever claimed that I didn’t exist. Maybe he’s claymation.

Romeo Dev vs. Seth Binzer vs. Shifty Shellshock

Personally, I have a problem with the fact that many of the kids growing up (and those of us that are now avoiding adulthood) have top goals consisting of being rich or being famous. The problem with that is being rich and being famous are the results of accomplishment. You can’t “do” either of them. And you can ask Britney whether or not fame is as wonderful as those people would imagine. I’m not at the point where I have to worry about paparazzi though. I’m not even the most famous Duncan at Playboy. There are actually three Duncans in the New York office. The other two are Richard Duncan (who pointed out a typo in my Mark Frazier post) and Aaron Duncan, a bigwig in our licensing department. Aaron Duncan still has me beat in the playboy+duncan Google search. It’s going to be hard to climb above him since he’s actually worth writing about. But then again, all I do is make posts about myself.

Now that the Official Chris Duncan Blog has been up a little over a month, I can cover my progress in promoting the site. The first month brought 564 unique visitors (we can chalk up 3 of those to me on my laptop, me at work, and me on my iPhone). Average time on the site is 1:37 which means people are actually reading what I post. A little over 70% of the 564 visitors only came once and never came back. However, that also means that the rest visited more than once — about 70 people have visited 10+ times. How did that happen?

Most of My Traffic Came from Google
Google sent 251 visits (different than unique visitors) for 31% of the total visits. I can safely say that most people weren’t looking for my blog. I catch a lot of random Playboy keywords from my posts about events, Mark Frazier, etc. I haven’t gotten any traffic from Yahoo at this point. I think that once I get listed on other search engines, I should have a decent bump in traffic. I can only hope that some of these people decide to actually read my blog if they don’t find what they’re looking for. Here are a few examples of searches that landed on my site and probably didn’t give the visitor what they were looking for: “masturbate with a vibrator”, hugh laurie phoenix, kept as a latex maid, pete wentz interview, roy williams looks like cartoon, and watch bikini airways online. I call these Chris Duncan’s Greatest Hits. Hopefully they liked the site anyway.

Direct Traffic Sent the Second Most Visits
Direct traffic is when somebody types in officialchrisduncan.com into their browser. So that as a second source is huge. Hopefully, that means that people remember the site and come back to it on their own later. It could also mean that somebody visits the OfficialChrisDuncan YouTube Channel and sees the URL in the actual video. So it’s hard to understand where direct traffic comes from, but it’s definitely the sign of an engaged visitor. I think one of the biggest parts of personal branding is wrapping all of your online identities together. My Flickr, YouTube Channel, Twitter, MySpace Profile, Facebook Page, and Digg/StumbleUpon accounts all point to each other. I’d rather have somebody see some content from me like a picture somewhere else (e.g. Flickr or Facebook) than force them to visit my site. In the last week, I have a YouTube video with almost 500 views and a Flickr image with 300+ views. People will find their way to your site if you have compelling content.

Digg and Reddit Round Out the Major Traffic Sources
I submit my own blog posts to Digg and Reddit. Yes, it’s a little bit embarrassing that I’m the only one who usually likes them — but it gets some decent traffic. I have to do more work on these networks to make a name for myself. Along with StumbleUpon, they are a great case to showcase your own interests and hopefully connect with people in a way that will get them to my site. This type of grassroots networking isn’t just for social bookmarking sites. I also have to do a better job visits sites that I think have similar visitors to mine and begin commenting/posting on forums.

Uncounted Traffic
My goal is to put my site in as many places as possible. So it’s fed into my MySpace profile, Facebook profile, and Facebook page. I’m pretty sure that my measuring for these sites (FeedBurner Live Hits) is less than accurate. The hard part is convincing people to actually visit my site instead of reading it on my Facebook profile. I plan on changing the Facebook feed to short previews instead of the entire post, so hopefully that sends more traffic to the site.

Momentum is Building
The site is definitely on the upswing. I can’t always hope for an increase in traffic every day, but I do hope it becomes more stable. If I just take stats from the last week (and that includes 12 hours of downtime last night), I still have 420 unique visitors. Of those people, 20% have visited the site more than once. So there are a lot of people who want more Official Chris Duncan. And I haven’t even started posting my homemade porn yet.