The Official Chris Duncan Web Site

I hope that you all had the chance to catch some of the Euro the past couple weeks. It really was an amazing tournament with Spain taking it all. I didn’t see everything, but I was lucky enough to catch Turkey’s comeback against Czech Republic. I was also watching when David Villa scored 2 minutes into stoppage time off of a clear. But nobody cares about soccer… so I’ll get to the point.

Euro soccer has been the source of numerous regrettable trends in recent years. Fashionable mullets and anything related to David Beckham (double ponytail, cornrows, etc.) come to mind immediately. The fashionable mullet (usually faux-hawked-out to some degree) is not to be confused with the standard “fabio” that’s a favorite of many Italian and Argentinian players. Soccer players don’t wear helmets or hats… so they have a lot of hair options.

I spotted two emerging trends at this year’s Euro — two daring players with two vastly different statements. Luca Toni, who my brother and I believe to be one of the laziest players in the world, has gone with a totally 80’s look. He’s got the throwback ’stache and the locks to match. Boswinga takes another approach with his disregard for grooming his massive brow. The bold eyebrows give him an imposing gaze for all to respect. Both players have blazed the way for other players to jump on board with these trends. I expect that they will both be quite popular at the Olympics and World Cup 2010.

Luca Toni’s ’stache would lose to Boswinga’s unibrow in a fight

The new, Joey-less Real World was sad but still entertaining. While this is certainly not my favorite Real World, this cast does seem to have some potential. Below are five points that are highlighted in the latest episode.

JoJo is a hoho

JoJo is back Ask and you shall receive. The biggest douchebag in the Los Angeles area made another appearance on the show. This time, he actually seals the deal with Brianna. I think there are two important things to note about his appearance: the LA shadow beard and the back-of-mullet that is now pony-tailed off. Having either is grounds for a beating… but both?

Sarah realizes how judgmental she is I love the way they talk about how skanky Brianna is… yet she isn’t even the one getting plowed by a roommate. Bri didn’t even get a chance to open her legs before Kimberly. Also, what is your mom or boyfriend going to do about your bitching? Just please shut the fuck up and cheat on your boyfriend for real. Otherwise, you are worthless.

Whitebread sandwich as per usual OMG can you believe Dave and Kim are hooking up? It’s just like every Real World where the two most whitebread people in the house are teetering on the edge of a relationship. It happened recently in Sydney (Cohutta/Kelly Anne), Denver (Alex/Colie), Austin (Danny/Melinda), Las Vegas (Steven/Trishelle), etc.

Greg sucks This kid is a bitch. He acts hard because he’s a loner. It’s the whole “I don’t need anybody else” routine… but you know he just has low self-esteem. The fashion show makes this pretty obvious. He walks the catwalk like an idiot — twirling his jacket and pirouetting. Can somebody please knock this douchebag down off of his high horse?

Das Not Wassup Alex and I had Will’s “Das Wassup” count at 3 after the first episode. Since then, he has not uttered the phrase once. I’m going to assume that he still says it but that the production team has edited it out of some scenes. I am very, very disappointed.

Rock of Love has to be one of the best shows going right now. I like to say that my range of interests runs the gamut when it comes to television. But that’s just another way of justifying the fact that I like garbage. I can call a spade a spade. Rock of Love fanatics, please place your vote for the girl that you think will win in the poll below. My pick is Ambre (explained below).

If you want to disagree with me about Rock of Love, let me try to sway you with my reasoning. The show has the right “mix” with a solid main character, scantily clad women, easy-to-follow while ridiculous storyline, and a healthy dose of intoxication. Let me break it down:

Bret Michaels is awesome
As he appears on the show, Bret Michaels is like any guy who had a ridiculous amount of coming at him. He rolls with it, but he’s even surprised with some of the affection that the women show him — or he’s an excellent actor. His gratuitous use of “hey-yo!” is also comical. I just enjoy the fact the Bret Michaels acts the same as any normal guy would if he were in the same situation. Like any other reasonable person, I assumed Bret Michaels was a douchebag based purely on appearance. But when I read the Bret Michaels Playboy.com Dirty Dozen Interview (this was before Rock of Love), I couldn’t help but like the guy. The best quote is about the most orgasms he’s had in one day: “It was eight, with my current girlfriend. It would be nine because I also masturbated once in there as well.”

Megan Hauserman is my friend
Yeah, that’s not true. We have worked together for two different events though. I think she’s actually really funny on the show. She flashed some of the same smart-assed nature at CollegeFest last September. I was sitting next to her and we were bullshitting with each other. I can’t even remember what I was saying to her at the time, but she interrupted me, looked me straight in the eyes, and said, “Are you hitting on me?” I’m pretty sure I wasn’t — at least not overtly. I was so shocked, I think I just walked away. I can’t even remember at this point. If only I had known that wearing eye makeup, a bandanna, and a cowboy hat was the key to her heart.

Girl drama to the max
The most memorable moment so far was Aubry’s hilarious exit from the show. For those of you who didn’t catch that (video below), here’s the rundown. She figured it would be her or Kristy Joe eliminated, decided Kristy Joe deserved it more, and then “sacrificed herself” by leaving the show. Shortly after her speech about giving the “greatest gift” to Kristy Joe, Bret revealed that she was going to be eliminated anyway.

I think Ambre will win because she’s the all-around best. She’s attractive, reasonably intelligent, and athletic. I think she has enough juice to win. Unfortunately, Bret cut the two oldest women — leaving Ambre as the oldest (I think). I thought he might keep one of them around until the end for age-related drama, but decided to cut the cord. How the hell is Inna still around? Also, I think Daisy is going to be built up again (a-la her date with Bret a while back) and then eliminated. Yes, I think about Rock of Love this much. I am a truly pathetic individual.